I’m sitting here, in a slightly dark room watching lights projected on the wall as they move in fascinating patterns. The lights are meant for my 4 month old daughter but I like them too. Usually when I write, the words jump out of my head, flowing onto the paper with perfect cadence. There’s something that I’ve been wanting to address for a while now, … Continue reading Should I Forgive My Rapist?
During recovery, it’s important to have goals—distractions—something to work toward. My blog has done just that and my supporters have helped me continue to focus. Today I’ve felt depression take hold. Depression doesn’t have to be symptomatic of an outside influence; it isn’t in this case. Depression, to me, feels like my body is enveloped in one of those tar face masks. I know, odd … Continue reading Down The Rabit Hole: A Downward Spiral to Deep Depression
I sit here, curled up in a blanket on the couch, my computer on my lap. Yesterday something happened that lead to a new experience. My brain is racing and I feel as though my body is disassociated from my mind. The words I write just poor out of my head onto what I perceive as paper, though it’s just a laptop screen. I’m exhausted, … Continue reading A Blessing in Disguise
I’m selfish. Most people respond to that statement with, “we’re all selfish—we have to be selfish in order to be healthy—in order to take care of another we have to take care of ourselves.” I’ve known how selfish I am for a while and it’s not your average selfish. I’ve always blamed the fact that I’m an only-child and I was spoiled growing up. … Continue reading I AM SELFISH
If you look at Robert. W Banes’ Facebook, you’ll find a lot of funny meme’s and jokes. He’s clever and quick witted–but if you take a closer look, you will see that he carries a lot of pain and he’s not afraid to share his deepest thoughts. He’s a fighter; whether you’re dealing with physical pain or demons that follow you, he can relate. Follow … Continue reading Share Your Truth Project: Robert W. Banes
Taylor Alton is not only strong and courageous, but she’s also one of the kindest people you could meet. She has an incredibly positive, uplifting attitude and it really seems to be contagious. Taylor is all about balance; she takes her physical health very seriously, spending time at the gym and eating healthy–she takes care of her home and her beautiful daughter–and she also runs … Continue reading Share Your Truth Project: Taylor Alton
I met Sarah when she was working in my little town as a teacher. I met her at a party when I was still drinking. Our first conversation consisted of me trying to convince her that she had to be older than me because I graduated in 2006 and she graduated in 2008—hello—6 is smaller than 8. I obviously felt like a complete moron when … Continue reading Share Your Truth Project: Sarah
I have known Gaylene since middle-school. I always saw her house a place of comfort when things weren’t as good at my home. I thought she was Superwoman–and I still do. She works hard in every aspect of her life. She’s kind–generous–beautiful–healthy–and smart. She has this quality about her that can’t be explained, you just have to get to know her to understand. Not only … Continue reading Share Your Truth Project: Gaylene Bruce-Moyers
Darlene Starr is an all around amazing person. She is modest and doesn’t understand why I think so much of her. It’s hard to explain–she is just one of those people who uplifts others and never brings anyone down. She has inspired me with her attitude and as much as I know about the way she lives her life. Here is the writing she posted. … Continue reading Share Your Truth Project: Darlene Starr
My goal in doing Share Your Truth was to share stories and values from other people. I’ve learned from so many people and I want to offer as much helpful information on coping, grief, health, and strength–while using positive rhetoric to uplift the soul. I want to engage a wide audience in order to touch as many lives as possible. I’ve never even met Brandon Forseth … Continue reading Share Your Truth Project: Writing by Brandon Forseth
This month alone my blog as been viewed by readers in the United States, Kenya, Ireland, Canada, Philippines, United Arab Emirates, Spain, and New Zealand. I’m so happy to have the opportunity to reach people in so many places. I don’t know, honestly, if I’ve truly helped anyone. I am hopeful and the outlook is good. The more I write, the more I wonder … Continue reading Share Your Truth Project
A subject that I’ve broached with my therapist many times, especially during the process of recovery is how do I know if I’m an addict—or more specifically am I addicted to a particular substance? What defines an addict? I have degenerative arthritis in my back and I was prescribed Gabapentin for the pain. Gabapentin isn’t bad for the liver or kidneys, it doesn’t have serious … Continue reading Is it ever OK to have an addiction?
Indecent Exposure Sometimes writing about my life candidly makes me feel free and empowered. Other times, like now, it makes me feel naked—vulnerable—exposed. I feel like everyone is looking at me and laughing. Why didn’t I keep my secrets as my own? Then no one would have the power to use them to hurt me. What I have to ask myself now is how can … Continue reading Indecent Exposure
Shooting Up To Success: My husband is my hero I have made leaps and bounds in my recovery. Not only did I straighten my life out but I have exceeded every personal expectation, finally reaching a peaceful state. There are many cogs that were essential in achieving success. Therapy, hard work, and using my medication properly (no self-medicating). Don’t get me wrong, it’s a work … Continue reading Shooting Up To Success: My husband is my hero
A Mother’s Choice: Taking responsibility for another life. I remember holding my brand new baby and loving her more than I knew I could love. I also remember being shamed by a nurse. She told me that I should think of the health of my baby; referring to my use of medication. A decision that was based on careful, meticulous, research. I … Continue reading A Mother’s Choice: Taking responsibility for another life.
Shame vs. Pride I watched as the small white pills slowly made their way to the bottom of the toilet. I thought I would be proud of myself; instead I felt stupid and ashamed. I felt some sort of regret for a couple of reasons: #1 I hate wasting anything. I’m the type of person that saves plastic ice cream containers to use … Continue reading A Slippery Slope
Cognitive Distortions II Are you being deceived? Imagine that you’ve just taken a pill that makes you feel as though your leg has just been severely broken. You have no physical injury and it’s perfectly safe to walk but you are in complete agony. Your goal is to overcome the pain and walk, or maybe even run. This is what comes to mind when someone asks me … Continue reading Are you being deceived?
The focal point of many therapy sessions, dreams, journal entries and the source of many insecurities, has been “the night my dad went bad“. I remember my mom always referring to it as such. I’ve analyzed the event over and over. I remember waking up to my dad moving from room to room frantically, reading the bible, talking about the demons inside everyone. I remember … Continue reading Meth Monsters
I woke up happy and ready to face the day. Summer-time mania was always the best. I had talked to my psychiatrist a week or so prior about the fact that my meds hadn’t been fully effective and I was still experiencing relatively severe bouts of both hypo-mania and depression. She informed me there was nothing to do really, other than be vigilant. I have … Continue reading Summertime Mania: The Incident
I debated on whether or not I wanted to share this, because I didn’t want it to seem like I was begging for money. I came to the conclusion that this is just a part of the process if I want to accomplish my goals. Starting my blog has given me a sense of purpose that I have never felt before. I strive to help … Continue reading Donate