Share Your Truth Project: Robert W. Banes

If you look at Robert. W Banes’ Facebook, you’ll find a lot of funny meme’s and jokes. He’s clever and quick witted–but if you take a closer look, you will see that he carries a lot of pain and he’s not afraid to share his deepest thoughts. He’s a fighter; whether you’re dealing with physical pain or demons that follow you, he can relate. Follow his lead and fight for your life.

 

“I was his prince and he was my king”

Back in the late 70s/early 80s, all I’d ever wanted was to be with my dad. I went to bed every night thinking about him and I woke up every morning looking forward to hearing his voice on the phone and planning our next visit. 

From the time I was about six, I was told that when I turned 14, we could go to court and I could tell the judge who I wanted to live with and that the judge would let me stay with my dad.

I waited patiently every year just waiting to get to 14. 
When me and my dad were able to see each other, it was always in the back of my mind; I just need to wait until I’m 14 and I will never have to leave him again.

The years came and went. Then one early winter morning, we received a phone call. It was my stepmom calling from the hospital.

My daddy had died that night. He couldn’t wait…his heart, it couldn’t hold on.

The year was 1982 and I was 9 years old.

When he died, the only thing he left me was his name – and that’s why you see it everywhere

It’s not just who I am, but who’s name I represent that makes it so important to me

I’ll turn 46 in the coming days and I imagine that I, too, will someday die of a broken heart. One that was shattered nearly 37 years ago.

Hug your family and friends. Reach out to them and let them know that you’re thinking about them.

I am my father’s son

S/F – RWB

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The Story of the Beard

This time 5 years ago, I was in a lot of pain. Massive herniated disc L4/L5 with degenerative disc disease throughout my spine. Years of wrecking my body finally caught up to me. 

Knowing that I’d be going in for surgery (October) and off of work for several weeks through recovery, I decided not to shave.

Well, I went through the first surgery and rehab and there was very little improvement in my condition. So my surgeon scheduled surgery number two (late February).

Long story short, that beard had been a reminder of the pain and struggles associated with life…but with each passing day, we continue to grow so long as we never give up.

I let it grow for 2.5 years until it began to represent more hurt than healing.

Each year around this time, I stop shaving for a few months in remembrance

For those of you who’ve been with me on this wild ride, words can’t describe my appreciation.

Make it a great day
S/F – RWB

 

This is going to sting a bit, but I’ve had too many friends who are battling with severe depression/PTSD/suicidal thoughts/etc being told to “Just get over it”
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Just get over it!?!?

Which part?!?

The part where my parents divorced when I was 3 because they were both raging alcoholics who beat on each other?
Or that I was brought up on welfare and food stamps and changed schools 13 times because we didn’t have the money to stay in one place for more than a few months at a time?
Or maybe I should get over being beaten on nearly a daily basis and molested by friends of the family or sexually assaulted by my mom’s best friend on two occasions by the age of 12.

No, wait, I got it – I should get over my dad, the king of my world, who after years of trying to gain custody of me dying of what many believe to be a broken heart when I was 9
Or perhaps I should get over watching cancer destroy my mom’s body and mind before finally taking her life when I was 15

…I don’t know…you tell me
Which part should I get over

Because at 45, it all still hurts pretty much the same

So don’t you ever f***ing tell me to just get over it

OUT!
S/F – RWB