Contest Winner: Some losses never stop hurting, by Johnzelle Anderson
One of the primary reasons I chose Johnzelle Anderson’s blog, Some losses never stop hurting, is because I feel that it’s important to realize that pain shouldn’t be judged by how much was lost. Who is the judge of that? I have lost people and been through traumatic events, but that doesn’t mean, because I lost a human being, Johnzelle and I can’t relate. I’m not implying that losing a pet is the same as losing a child, just that the severity of our losses doesn’t define us. We can use our pain to connect to one another on a deeper level when we stop judging and start caring.
Some losses never stop hurting
posted: Mar 27, 2019.
At the age of 26, I’ve been fortunate in that I’ve never lost a person who I’ve been close to. I was there to help my mom when her husband died suddenly of a heart attack in 2017. I’m also a therapist, so I’ve worked with many clients who are struggling with grief. It wasn’t until I suffered my own loss that I experienced the wave of emotions that go with grief. Thankfully, my loss wasn’t a person. Her name was Abbie, my first dog.
The photo above was taken the last morning that I took Abbie to the vet. I knew that she wouldn’t be coming back.
The weeks prior, Abbie began acting strangely. She was having accidents, destroyed her bed, was crying constantly, and was not eating or drinking.
I remember one night that week when I took her to the emergency vet. She was so dehydrated that they couldn’t run tests on her. Her veins were so constricted that they couldn’t take blood samples. No answers.
But there’s no need to focus on those sad days. Let’s go to the happier times.
Abbie was my grad school dog. This picture was taken the day that I adopted her from an animal shelter that I volunteered at. When I saw her photo on the shelter website, I knew that she would be my dog.
In the two and a half years that I had Abbie, she was my constant through a ton of life changes. Grad school, 3 different cities, internship, my first real job, dating my wife, and getting married.
She died about 6 months after I got married. I’m sure whatever was wrong with her developed over time, but I like to think that she stuck around to make sure my wife and I settled into married life ok.
Though it’s been over a year since I decided to have her put down, I still have random moments where a memory will have me sobbing.
I’ll probably always miss Abbie. I’m glad I have so many great memories to look back on. I have all of her photos in an album on my phone called the “Abblum” 😊
The conclusion will just be a series of my favorite Abbie photos.